Missing Shard
by Angela Kip
Summary: Shepard and Traynor spend their last moments together during the Refusal ending. Drabble.


Samantha Traynor is not crying. She's biting a trembling lower lip and her whole body is shaking uncontrollably, but she is not crying. Maybe it's because of the way there's never been a moment like this before, not even when that Reaper fired at them from the ship. She cried then through her screams as the safety harness snapped and EDI's mobile platform rushed to her, though nobody said a word about it. She doesn't think they would now, either. They wouldn't have time even if they were planning on it.

Joker's voice comes over the comm. Having trouble outrunning the Reapers, he says. What a blessing it is to have a pilot who always does his damnedest to save them, even when they already know what their fate will be. Shepard knew what was going on even before the first sign of trouble. As soon as they picked her up she limped to the CIC, bruised and bloody, and told her girlfriend to come to the top deck with her. Samantha thought it was a ridiculous request then. She does not think so any more.

She stares up at the window, at their impending destruction. As much as she wants to look away, she can't make herself do it. Shepard moves to cover the smaller woman's eyes and Samantha bites back a wave of fear. She needs to see. Needs to know. She grips the commander's wrist, whispers a strangled plea. Shepard understands. She removes her hand, moves so only Samantha can see what's going on. The specialist swallows against the catch in her throat.

Shepard's talking. This is her fault, she says. She should have done more. Should have ensured them a better future. Samantha puts her finger to the commander's lips, then removes it to kiss her. And then she can't stop kissing her, peppering them along her hairline just the way she likes it. Arms come around her, strong, muscled, and with such a tight grip. It pulls the air from Samantha's lungs and she has to wiggle around a little to get her breath going again. Not that it really matters any longer.

Samantha tucks herself into the commander and begins to tell a story of their future. When the war is over, they're going to retire from active duty. They'll move in together, get a big house with a white picket fence in front. First they'll get a dog as practice for raising something all on their own, not a puppy but a full-grown dog, a Labrador retriever she thinks, but really, any kind of retriever will do. Then they'll have two children, not twins but one after the other. Most likely they'll adopt, because there are still so many children out there who don't have families. She read the numbers are in the tens of thousands, an improvement from a hundred years ago but still huge. Two girls would probably be best, and they'll make sure the kids have a strong male figure in their lives. James maybe. They can call him "Uncle." Of course they'll be meeting the others too…

She's right in the middle of her explanation about how each member of the alien crew will teach the girls about their species' customs for cultural diversity purposes when another call comes in. They won't be outrunning the Reapers, not this time. Shepard snaps, tells Joker to shut his pie hole, then backpedals and tells him she's sorry. Tell all of them she's sorry, the commander says. Sam clutches her tighter. She's aware somewhere in the back of her mind that she's probably drawing blood even through that hoodie and whatever Shepard's wearing underneath. It doesn't matter. None of it does.

If only they could have activated the Crucible. She doesn't know what the hell happened up there, and not a soul will ever know except the woman in her arms. In a way, that's good. She isn't sure she wants to know. Samantha shivers, whimpers a little as a sob threatens to break forth and doesn't let it. She shifts beside her girlfriend. Her girlfriend, who is currently engaged in whispering things that are forgotten almost as soon as she says them. Mostly apologies. Samantha would kiss her silent again, but she can see the Reaper in the window above them, preparing to fire. There are only seconds left.

_I love you,_ Shepard murmurs.

_I love you too._ Samantha's teeth clench. Her girlfriend is almost looking at the window. _Shepard, close your eyes in three - two -_

Shepard's hands are fumbling for something, reaching out. She's holding a piece of metal in front of her girlfriend's face. Samantha catches a glimpse of the laser shooting out of the Reaper, moving closer and closer to them. Just before it bisects them completely, she hears a strangled whisper.

_Wherever we're going…when we get there, will you marry me?_


End file.
